We were sitting in some worn cafeteria chairs at a high school reunion neither of us thought we would manage to make. But here I was, seated beside my dear high school confidante, Sherry B. Why I had never made the effort to get in touch with her during the lapsed decades was beyond me. She was such a vibrant soul, despite the physical changes that were impossible to ignore. So many youthful friendships are dropped at the end of high school when everyone goes off in different directions, there was nothing unusual about this case either. But perhaps back when I was about 20 and my mother mentioned that Sherry had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, I just didn't know what to do with the news and wouldn't touch the distance between us. But here was Sherry with canes clipped to her arms and sporting the same old broad grin as ever.
After our initial hugs and exclamations, Sherry and I showed each other pictures of our families and moved on to the subject of what our typical days looked like, with the last of the teenagers getting ready to fledge. I told her of my recent experience in elder care products and this is when she grabbed the opportunity to talk about the humiliation she first experienced with loss of bladder control. It was like I was her high school confidante all over again, that the decades between us had never transpired.
"I can't tell you what I went through up here," she tapped her forehead with an angular finger, "when I first realized that peeing my pants was something I was simply going to have to live with. To lose control over something most babies master by the age of two and a half is downright frightening, not to mention humiliating." She looked me square in the eye and said with a laugh, "I had to learn to let go of letting go and get on with the rest of my life. Thank goodness for the internet. Buying feminine products at the drugstore was one thing, buying adult diapers is another."
"Flip on the TV now, pick up a magazine, and it seems the whole world is suddenly talking about adult diapers, pull-ups and pads. Now you, my old buddy, tell me that you make a living in the business. What's happening?" she asked.
Ah, Sherry. If she only knew how much I admired her at that moment. I was sitting there listening to her and trying to absorb what it must have been like for her to raise three boys while coping with whatever her MS threw at her during any given week. There was so much spunk propped in that cafeteria chair that I felt I must surely be dull and uninteresting company for her. But she really was anxious to hear my thoughts on the subject so I obliged her with the facts of aging America and the accompanying incontinence issues. In fact, she needed to know what good company she was in, that the subject of adult diapers wasn't the domain of derelicts and social rejects.
With a projected 147% increase of citizens 65 and older in the first half of this century, and with the promise of increased longevity, this means a lot more people have already begun to size up adult diapers than ever before. Incontinence can strike people from all walks of life and of all ages but it is the increase of an aging population that is bringing the topic to the public forefront. I assured Sherry that she was on the cutting edge of this wave because of her positive attitude and that she should not be shy about it. She should share her voice on the subject of incontinence. Start blogging or podcasting, getting the word out. I was on a roll, handing her PR assignments.
Then I saw that she had wilted like a cut flower during my spiel and I realized how foolish my little professional speech had been. Here was a woman who had travelled several hundred miles by air, shifting between canes and wheelchair, cheerfully coping with her incontinence, all in the hope of seeing for one afternoon, some familiar old faces from a time when she had less cares. She was not up to having any homework laid on her. What she wanted was a listening ear, plus a little help getting into the wheel chair so she could get over to the restroom. "Just wheel it to the door and dump the cripple in," she instructed. I stood there, shocked at her words, but then glimpsed the teasing twist of her lips. Attitude is indeed everything.
About the Author:
Ms. Kate Kew is an experienced adult caregiver and is the editor-in-chief of a growing online resource library that is aimed at educating and supporting anyone who is encountering incontinence, as a caregiver, or otherwise. Kate welcomes all readers to visit (and also contribute) to this collection of tips, tricks and even a little humor: Adult Diapers Tips.
